Be Who You Say You Are, Not Someone's Reflection

Have you ever wondered why we don't see ourselves from other people's perspectives? We often see ourselves differently than the people around us. I, for example, have been told for the past few years that I am becoming increasingly more like someone in my life. This may or may not be a good thing, but the fact is that I don't see myself as this person. Now, just because i choose not to see myself as this person, does not mean that I am not like this person. It only means that I do not SEE myself as this person. I see myself differently than the way I act.

The last half of that paragraph is kind of confusing so if you need think about it for a few minutes that's cool. If you really think about what I said, it can seem really contradictory. I obviously have the ability to see the similarities, or I wouldn't be able to understand that I see myself falsely. In actuality, I do see myself in relation to this person, and I understand how I am, somewhat, like them. However, I still choose to lie when confronted with possibility of myself and this person being alike.

We, as people, often lie to ourselves for lots of different reasons, but the fact is we all do it. We tell ourselves what we want to think is true. Then we tell other people what we have convinced ourselves is truth. If this is true logic, then I don't see myself as this person because I don't want to be like this person. I lie to myself. People, however see me like this person because I am this person

So I know I am like this person in some ways because people point it out. I know how this person and I are similar in most ways. I've been around this person long enough to see these similarities between us (But I still lie to myself about them). Yet, for some reason, instead of changing these things, I simply lie. I tell myself, which leads to telling other people, that I'm not really like this person. I tell them I am the opposite! Now before you judge me, wait. This whole time you've been thinking of that one person in your life that you're most like. The one that everyone tells you that you act like, even though you refuse to believe it. We are told this... because we all act like that one person! That is who we really are!

We can lie to ourselves about how we really are, but people see it. We may have blinded ourselves, but we haven't blinded others. Our actions speak louder than our words. People see us for what we do, not who we say we are. So the only way not to act like the people we are compared too is to change our actions, not our words. We have to be honest with ourselves, and become that person that we tell others we are. That person, the one we think we are and tell others we are, is the person we WANT to be. It is up to us to really be them.

We have to become the person we see and say we are, not the person we really are!

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...

Time!

Time is a concept that people never truly realize all of its diversity. On one hand, time can be rewarding. Ask any terminally ill patient how glorious the gift of time can be. Then on the other hand, time can be burden. Just ask any of the millions of people everyday who are simply getting through each day. Waiting for something in their lives.

Waiting. That is what has me writing about this time parable. Waiting seems to be the common denominator in all aspects of my life these days. I feel as if I have been constantly waiting on time. I am waiting for the time that I see certain people. I am waiting for the time that school starts. I am waiting to turn 21(Don't ask about this one, it's very touchy). It seems that everything in my life for the past few days, weeks, and months has revolved around time and waiting.

Our entire lives revolve around time. We are only given so much of this precious gift. We can't make this gift last any longer or pass any slower. When I look at this, I guess it makes waiting for things seem entirely wasteful. While I, or everyone, sit and waits for certain milestones in our lives, we are constantly missing on life's hidden treasures that we experience in our daily journeys.

I once read a quote by Ursela K. LeGuin, that said this about journeys, "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end". Now, for those of you who personally know me, I consider myself a fan of quotes that revolve around "life" and "daily" journeys. So why is it, that in my own life I fail to fulfill such a simple and inspirational ideas? Instead capitalizing on these quotes and seizing all of the experiences that occur along these journeys, I still find myself often waiting for specific events.

There is a Christian band that has a lyric that reads: The greatest thing God created was a new day. That quote has so many meanings that I can't imagine trying touch on all of them, but what an incredible quote. Everyday we have a new day. Everyday we have a new journey to embark on. Then, when all of our new days are compiled together, we have our lives. So why are waiting on anything?

No one knows how many of these glorious journeys or days each of us will be given. That's why it is important not to waste the concept of time. We have to stop looking and waiting for things in our future. There is no promise that we will ever even live to see things we wait for. At the same time, though, we have to be thankful for the time that we have already been granted to live, and the journey's that we have already been privileged with traveling.

Time is a very complex concept, and each person is responsible for utilizing their time to it's fullest extent. We are all making journey's with our time. When each of our days are compiled together at the end of lives, don't we want people to look back how we lived each of days individually and not just as one long life? Everyday we are given is an extension of our time, it is up to each of us to capitalize on the journey at hand each day. That is the true beauty of the complexity of time.

My Green Grass Life

As long as I can remember I've always hated school. Not the necessarily the social aspect (I've always been a big fan of that), but the classes and the work that are always a hassle. I mean I love seeing people and hanging out with friends, but honestly, who wants to do homework or study for tests? Actually, right now, i do.

Believe it or not for the past week as my friends and co-workers are all moving back to school, I find myself actually missing school. Obviously, I miss hanging out with friends and going out, but I've also found myself missing classes. I think it's the idea of always having something to do, something to read or study. Maybe it is simply the entire school package and the constant thrill of something to do. Whatever the reason, I am missing school!!!

I know that this adoration for my classes will be fulfilled in about two weeks. Then, I will be the complete opposite of missing school. It's funny how life works like this. I guess it plays into the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side". We all know that the "grass" isn't truly "greener", but this fact still doesn't stop us for wanting the other "grass". In my situation one side of the "grass" is my summer life, and the "other grass" is my school life. The only thing separating these two sides is a "fence" called time. Eventually, in time, I'll be on the other side. And then, I'll miss summer. I'll want to be back where I was before school started. This is the paradox of my life.

As I sit here writing this and thinking about school and my next few months, I wish I could just be content with the now. I wish i could just enjoy my next two weeks and all that "having nothing to do" has to offer. This wanting to be content seems contradictory to itself. Even as I pondering being content, does that mean I am not being content with how I am now? Isn't my current longing for the future part of who I am now?

I guess I just have to accept that even though right now I am missing school, in a few weeks I'll be missing the summer again. As for living in the now, who even really knows what that means. People have spent there entire lives pondering over questions like these and ones far more complex. For right now, I miss school and in two weeks I'll miss summer. That is how life is, and that is why I constantly live in "green grass paradox"...

My First Blog Post

So I am so sort of new to the blogging world. When i say "new", I mean "new" to actually writing the blogs, not reading them. So this first blog has absolutely no real reason for being written other than to get something posted and get this blog party rockin.

On my blog i'll post funny stories, different thoughts that occur, and opinions on things that i feel worthy having an opinion on. I'll try not to mention anyones name in my stories to avoid embarrassment or trouble. I guess thats it. Now we'll just sit and wait, and let the thoughts and stories start flowing...