My Green Grass Life

As long as I can remember I've always hated school. Not the necessarily the social aspect (I've always been a big fan of that), but the classes and the work that are always a hassle. I mean I love seeing people and hanging out with friends, but honestly, who wants to do homework or study for tests? Actually, right now, i do.

Believe it or not for the past week as my friends and co-workers are all moving back to school, I find myself actually missing school. Obviously, I miss hanging out with friends and going out, but I've also found myself missing classes. I think it's the idea of always having something to do, something to read or study. Maybe it is simply the entire school package and the constant thrill of something to do. Whatever the reason, I am missing school!!!

I know that this adoration for my classes will be fulfilled in about two weeks. Then, I will be the complete opposite of missing school. It's funny how life works like this. I guess it plays into the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side". We all know that the "grass" isn't truly "greener", but this fact still doesn't stop us for wanting the other "grass". In my situation one side of the "grass" is my summer life, and the "other grass" is my school life. The only thing separating these two sides is a "fence" called time. Eventually, in time, I'll be on the other side. And then, I'll miss summer. I'll want to be back where I was before school started. This is the paradox of my life.

As I sit here writing this and thinking about school and my next few months, I wish I could just be content with the now. I wish i could just enjoy my next two weeks and all that "having nothing to do" has to offer. This wanting to be content seems contradictory to itself. Even as I pondering being content, does that mean I am not being content with how I am now? Isn't my current longing for the future part of who I am now?

I guess I just have to accept that even though right now I am missing school, in a few weeks I'll be missing the summer again. As for living in the now, who even really knows what that means. People have spent there entire lives pondering over questions like these and ones far more complex. For right now, I miss school and in two weeks I'll miss summer. That is how life is, and that is why I constantly live in "green grass paradox"...